Lessons Learned: Blue Hen 15th Analversary Weekend

1. Surprised by Friday night bar congestion? Don’t be. It IS the University’s Parents’ weekend, after all. I’m sure all the parents are simply trying to obliterate the thoughts of what a 5-year education costs these days.
2. Don’t assume that a Pub Crawl will not incorporate some bit of running. Even if downtown Newark, DE is only a ½ mile long, trail can still be long and zig-zag in every direction away from and around the bars.
3. Don’t lay trail on railroad tracks in Newark, DE. Due to the proliferation of tracks and railyards, cops are especially vigilant of university students (or hashers) taking shortcuts. Also, the fact that the 90-mph Acela train cuts through the town on its way to NYC is a slight discouragement too.
4. Hashers can even offend local tree-huggers at their hang-out by singing “Jesus Saves”. It’s not because the tree-huggers find the lyrics offensive, it’s because they find the presence of “Jesus freaks” offensive.
5. Blue Hen hashers enter the Iron Hill Brewery with the sole intent to see how long it takes to get kicked out. Tonight’s sojourn is a Blue Hen hash record – 45 minutes (although only 5 minutes after their rendition of S&M man starts).
6. It may be wise to inform local hashers about the significant other – that way they don’t attempt to kick him out of the bar for hitting on his girlfriend.
7. Try to keep the significant other sober enough so that he won’t perform shocking feats like giving oral sex or a shocker in the presence of family. Or if he insists on drinking, ensure he is too drunk to contemplate sex.
8. Introduce scrapple to non-Delawareans. If it tastes good, does it matter what it’s made of?
9. Delaware hashing guarantee: Trail might not be dry, trail might not be short, but trail will most certainly be flat!
10. The concept of a beer mile can be applied to any sport, including baseball. Try chugging 3 cans of beer while running around a baseball diamond. First into homeplate without puking wins!
11. You can puke from several orifices at once. Namely mouth and nose. I’d like to see both ears next.
12. Holding a hasher after-party in a church may be unusual, but holding one in the Sunday School playroom is just a bad idea. It may be best next time to find a location that you are not guaranteed to lose your deposit on.
13. You can wear out your welcome by performing all of the following activities: building a castle wall from school room playtoys, having a wrestling match that ends up being a human pile-up, playing Beirut beer pong and spilling the beer on the school room carpet, putting a Barbie dress on your cock, peeking in school kids’ lockers, and bringing hard liquor to the school room when beer just isn’t enough.
14. Emphasize to the hare the definition of a hangover trail PRIOR to setting trail: “Short-ish type trail with plenty of beer checks and little physical jarring of brain activity.”
15. Even if 1/3 of the pack gets lost on trail and finds their way off-trail to the ending location, the remainder of the pack is only concerned about the safety of the lost hasher dog.
16. Circle always ends when the pizza delivery boy arrives. Do you want cold pizza?
17. When it takes 4 hours to drive home, don’t expect to catch the Patriots-Colts game live on television unless you have time for a lengthy pit stop.

Bars: Deer Park Tavern, Grotto’s Pizza, Home Grown, Iron Hill Brewery, East End Cafe

1st Annual Dewey Beach Red Dress Run Hash and Running of the Bulls: 10 Lessons Learned

1. If you are going to stay at the beach and don’t want to pay $200/night for a hotel room, go camping. You wouldn’t believe how many campgrounds there are at and on the beach.
2. If you are unfamiliar with the local geography, contact someone who is familiar with it PRIOR to making a reservation for accommodations. You may choose a location that is on the opposite side of the Indian River Bay. It’s only 10 miles….but have you ever suffered through 10 miles of beach traffic?
3. Don’t be surprised when you get interviewed by local cameramen for wearing a red dress to a running of the bulls. However, they shouldn’t expect you to be coherent on film.
4. Don’t be surprised when non-hashers stick cameras up your red dress and take a picture. And are then disgusted by the twig and berries shot they collected. Also, don’t be surprised when chicks try to rip your dress off you. Men in red dresses are SO attractive. Didn’t you know?
5. If you decide to stay behind when your friends move on to another bar, don’t forget to collect your ID and money from them. Otherwise, you’ll spend the entire day trying to track them down and asking for donations to change out of a red skirt into new shorts.
6. The Bottle & Cork only accepts cash and does not allow ANY bags into their establishment. Don’t complain about the policy or the bouncers won’t let you in. Even if all your other hasher friends are already in the establishment.
7. Dewey Beach bars are all owned by Highway One Partners except for the Starboard. As a result, your choices of beer in Dewey are ONLY Budweiser and Bud Light. D*mn Anheuser-Busch’s exclusive contracts! The world at large does NOT enjoy drinking piss.
8. Remember that P.I.N.K. shots contain guarana, which is an energy drink ingredient. Don’t be surprised when your significant other keeps you awake all night due to an increased libido.
9. If a shot is served in a special shot glass that glows in the dark, confiscate the shot glasses for personal use. They’ll be real cool at camping trips.
10. If your cousin is a Dewey Beach meter maid, at least have the common sense to park in her district to avoid a parking ticket.

Bars: Starboard, Bottle & Cork, and The Rusty Rudder

Total Bar Count: 89

Total DC Bars: 43