Song: Empty Space

I actually wrote this song around the end of last month, but as you can see, I’ve been quite delayed in posting. I actually considered it an unfinished work and then today decided it was meaty enough to complete. I fixed the rhythm (which was inconsistent) and assigned a chorus (which is again 2 stanzas). I can envision this as a rock power ballad if rock power ballads ever gain popularity again.

I wake up in the morning

And you’re not there

The space where you should be

Is empty and bare

Chorus:

It’s that empty space

That makes me bitter

Only your voice each morning

Keeps me centered

It’s that empty space

That invades my soul

Steals a piece of me

And obliterates all

I am bereft and forlorn

Without your heat

When it wraps around me

And throughout my sheets

Chorus:

It’s that empty space

That makes me bitter

Only your voice each morning

Keeps me centered

It’s that empty space

That invades my soul

Steals a piece of me

And obliterates all

How much longer

Must this go on

Where I wake up

And miss your form

Chorus:

It’s that empty space

That makes me bitter

Only your voice each morning

Keeps me centered

It’s that empty space

That invades my soul

Steals a piece of me

And obliterates all

For now I rely on memories

Of moments together

And ignore the emptiness

My soul has weathered

Song: High Maintenance Men

So what prompted me to write this song? All I can recall is that I was driving home last night absorbed in my thoughts (as always) and this subject came to mind. And usually that is how all my songs start. I come up with the title first and then brainstorm the lyrics. Sometimes the title changes based on the direction of my thoughts and sometimes the entire subject changes.

So, today, recalling that I wanted to write a song about “High Maintenance Men”, I sat down to write this song, and voila! 11 minutes later – this is what I’ve produced. I’ve altered my usual routine in that I have a two-stanza chorus, but I wrote the first stanza much later in the song and thought it was just as appropriate as a chorus. Since I make my own rules about song-writing, I’m gonna have a two stanza chorus, and none y’all can stop me! Enjoy my venting!

I’m tired of acceding

To men’s desires

I’m tired of puppetry

To escape their ire

Why must I be perfect

In face, dress, and style

Why can’t I be me

Whether pretty or foul

Chorus:

I’m tired of challenges

And too-pretty men

That are fluff and pompous

And nothing within

These high-maintenance men

Ask for too much

I refuse to cooperate

I refuse to adjust

I want a man who thinks

I’m beautiful upon waking

Not an object that must remain

On that pedestal for dating

I give up the chase

I throw in the towel

If you want me, you must

Slave and kow-tow

Chorus:

I’m tired of challenges

And too-pretty men

That are fluff and pompous

And nothing within

These high-maintenance men

Ask for too much

I refuse to cooperate

I refuse to adjust

Don’t bother, metrosexuals

Go away, man-wh*res

I’m only looking for values

Unavailable from the store

I feel better being me

Don’t make me be more

Than I’m willing to give

I can’t believe I was lured

Chorus:

I’m tired of challenges

And too-pretty men

That are fluff and pompous

And nothing within

These high-maintenance men

Ask for too much

I refuse to cooperate

I refuse to adjust

Song: Grit

Okay, I could tell you that this started out as a song about grits, but would you believe me? Actually, that’s not true – although I do have a song about grits in my drafts (needs major re-working!). Actually, this is the first 3 stanzas that I took from Deceit and decided that NOW was a good time to re-visit them. So, my total completed poems for the day is 2. I don’t think I will ever again break my all-time record of writing 5 songs in an afternoon though.

We’ll see, though. I do have 6 songs in draft form that I need to re-visit and 1 topic to brainstorm about. So potentially, if I put my mind to the grindstone, I could possibly punch out 7 songs. I don’t have that much motivation currently….

Looking to the heavens

Nose in the air

Standing tall

Without a care

Stubborn she may be

Rigidness applied

Don’t cross her

She’s b*tchy when she cries

Chorus:

She’s got backbone

Lots of grit

Stare her down

She won’t quit

Who measures up?

Few far and wide

Can muster the ammunition

To shoot down her pride

Upright and willowy

Before the fall

She gets back up

And dusts off it all

Chorus:

She’s got backbone

Lots of grit

Stare her down

She won’t quit

It’ll take more tries

To conquer this maiden

Cause believe it or not

She survives this treason

But why try to defeat her

When as a comrade

The benefits are better

And instantly had

Chorus:

She’s got backbone

Lots of grit

Stare her down

She won’t quit

But who listens to reason

Or even considers

That this woman’s

Got endurance to muster

Pride’s driving force

Carries her onwards

Follow behind

And reap the rewards

Chorus:

She’s got backbone

Lots of grit

Stare her down

She won’t quit

Song: Deceit

This is a song I re-visited today. I wrote it in draft form last week, but halfway through my thoughts wandered and my original topic turned into this. So I removed the first 3 stanzas (for re-visiting at a later time) and added the last 3, and voila! A new song that actually kind of makes some sense (“kind of” being used very loosely).

I can’t imagine

The way things might have been

If I had been more open

Instead of breaking within

But no

I must not reveal

The secrets hidden

Too painful to heal

I miss you much

But you’ll never know

Cause I don’t want that power

For you to ever hold

To safeguard my emotions

And protect my mind

You’ll never be closer

Than what appears to the eye

Beware the deceit

That I present to you

But understand something

Its for your benefit too

I don’t hate you

It’s simply a matter of trust

Who could believe

That my heart could bust

Until that time

That I master within

Or grow out of

My infatuation

At arm’s length you’ll stay

No ifs, ands, or buts

No amount of pleading

Will convince me to sway

The chance has passed

Our opportunity is gone

And second chances

Almost never last

Song: Surprise

Where did you come from?

I can’t believe my eyes

Where once I dismissed you

I now can realize

You’re different and special

A wonder disguised

I took my time

To learn and grow

That I must seek

The heart below

Chorus:

Although it’s early

I’m happy I tried

I won’t regret

This wonderful surprise

The fun to be had

The adventures together

Don’t be amazed

At our multiple pleasures

You haven’t changed

I have been blind

To the value you hold

Totally unmined

Chorus:

Although it’s early

I’m happy I tried

I won’t regret

This wonderful surprise

The others don’t matter

They don’t see the light

That burns inside you

So fierce and bright

It takes strength of purpose

To play this game

You’re well aware

Of the danger we share

Chorus:

Although it’s early

I’m happy I tried

I won’t regret

This wonderful surprise

I’m glad to help you

Gain the esteem required

To flaunt your abilities

For all who desire

I can let you go free now

I’ve accomplished my task

I’m so happy

That you’re appreciated at last

Chorus:

Although it’s early

I’m happy I tried

I won’t regret

This wonderful surprise

Happy Steak and BJ Day!!

It's not too late to send him a card or buy a steak for dinner tonight!!

And below, I have a special song I have written in honor of the artform of BJs.

Song: Ode to BJs

When the evening’s blue

I pull you along to my room

When I get you inside

We go buck-wild

Push down on the bed

Strip off the pants

Jump on top

And hang on for the ride

I’m not done yet

Investigating

What do we have here?

A tool worth speculating

Take a closer look

Breathe deep and fast

I like what I see

Mouth is attached

Tongue rolls to 12 o’clock

Then rolls back

360 around

This lovely shaft

A kiss on top

Before I plunge

Lets go deeper

How far can I lunge?

Up and down

My mouth hugs around

Keeping a rythym

With hardly a sound

Now one hand steadies

While the other roams

Exploring sightless

By touch and groan

Lick up

Lick down

I have sooo much fun

While going to town!

After stroking

And milking

And laving around

I swallow all down

Not even a dribble

Can escape my frown

Cause I can’t quibble

You’re done for now!

Song: Aries

I feel that the story is unfinished on this one, so I may re-visit it to add some more stanzas.

So stubborn and strong

Who always fights

For the people dear

With colossal might

Self-centered at times

Energy exploding within

These are the qualities

Of an Aries whim

Big egos abound

Confidence soars

In the crowd

Fire burning sight

Commands the light

Playfulness reigns

Its all fun and games

The Aries spirit

Cannot be contained

Jealousy prevails

Struggling to control

Feelings suppressed

Weaknesses exposed

Aries MUST be first

If not we quail

Are injured and broken

And hope does fail

The life of a party

Does reside

Unfettered and happy

Without compromise

Song: Mistake I Once Made

Wow!! I’m on quite a kick now. I wrote 5 more songs today. 2 to be published today and the other 3 to be published at a later date. In the meantime, I have 3 more songs I’ve drafted but haven’t been inspired to finish. I’ve also received a request to create a post-marathon song. Let’s see how I perform first to see what the tone of that one will be.

Chorus:

We were once friends

But now that’s all changed

Due to a mistake

I once made

I shouldn’t have pushed

I shouldn’t have pried

I should have let

Sleeping dogs lie

I was too nosy

I barged right in

And opened my mouth

Where I shouldn’t have been

Chorus:

We were once friends

But now that’s all changed

Due to a mistake

I once made

Now the silence is ongoing

A matter of fact

Although I’m still trying

To keep our friendship intact

But things won’t work

Without a two-way street

I believe it’s gone now

I must admit defeat

Chorus:

We were once friends

But now that’s all changed

Due to a mistake

I once made

I pass you on the street

And you nod your head

But there is nothing left

Between us but shreds

I’ve apologized for my actions

My conscious is clear

We are not the same now

After all the years

Chorus:

We were once friends

But now that’s all changed

Due to a mistake

I once made

Song: Run Fast

Okay, I have to admit – this one is not a song. It’s a poem through and through. This is what I hope happens on the day of my half-marathon. I wrote this to inspire myself to run harder, faster, stronger, and longer.

BTW, I have decided to revise my half-marathon goal:
It was 2:30
In light of my successful training:
It will be 2:10
Wish me luck!!

The big day is upon me
My fortune resides
In the strength of my lungs
My legs and my thighs

The gun fires off
I run steady and light
I’m pushing, I’m panting
With all of my might

Run faster I yearn
With loads of determination
Motivated to earn
Congratulations

Perseverance pays off
Five miles have I passed
Don’t stop now
Run fast, run fast!

Miles go by
My patience is thin
The faster I lope
The closer the end

Ten miles are behind me
Three more to complete
I’m almost there now
It’s been quite a feat

The finish line’s ahead
I sprint to the end
Legs are on fire
Gait wide and trim
I’m there!
Oh boy!
I’m jumping for joy

Ecstatically pleased
I’ve beaten my goal
Spectators surround
As I pass the pole

Coldness trickles
Down the small of my back
I don’t feel the prickle
Of the cold winter’s tack

Muscles aching
Now that I’m clear
Where to go now?
It’s time for a beer!

But wait, it’s not over
Training to win
Because I’m waiting
for the next race to begin!

Song: Wanderlust

This song is an outlet for my frustration with my current home. I’ve been dissatisfied with living in DC for the past 2 – 3 years and I brainstormed this song to let my feelings out.

I wish I could start composing tunes too, but I’ve never taken any music lessons so I don’t even know how to begin. In my mind, this is a slow song along the same tempo as “Hotel California”.

I’ve got the itch
To see the world
But I’m trapped
In a hole

Drop everything
Find the path
Where I can travel
At last

Chorus:
On to Vegas or bust
Succumb to wanderlust
Escape from memories
Of the ol’ family tree
That plague even me

My heart’s in anguish
My soul’s confined
Set them free
So I can fly

Don’t cage me in
Let me roam wild
Don’t patronize me
I’m not a child!

Chorus:
On to Vegas or bust
Succumb to wanderlust
Escape from memories
Of the ol’ family tree
That plague even me

Why did I stay so long?
Where’d my ambition go?
I need my independence
I don’t want a home

Help me escape this place
I must get over this hurdle
It holds me no ties
And makes my blood curdle

Chorus:
On to Vegas or bust
Succumb to wanderlust
Escape from memories
Of the ol’ family tree
That plague even me

Song: Supergirl

I like writing about the recurring themes in my life. Since I have an intense fascination with being a Supergirl, I brainstormed this song today. And for this one, I am channeling “Unforgiven”.

Jack, Jim, and Johnny
Were my only friends
Drowning my sorrows
Alone and on a bend

From black days
and darker nights
Rescued from despair
I never saw her glimmer
Never saw her tears

Through constancy
and persistence
She struggled on
To provide meaning
To my phantom of a soul

I thought I had been rescued
by a wandering a-an-gel
But no, she’s my Supergirl
So bright and open
Saving my world
Her purity unfathomed
Laughter unfurled

My demons have been exorcised
She has provided a light repaired
Miracle of miracles
Only to her I swear

Jack, Jim, and Johnny
No longer my crutch
I stand on my own now
With my Supergirl I trust

Song: Luscious

I composed this song in my head while trying to sleep on a blow-up mattress on the floor of my brother’s group house while his housemate was blaring a movie in the basement. Hell! At least I’m productive before I finally let sleep overtake me!

Again, no tune in mind, but I’m channeling Prince’s “Kiss” as I write this.

She has such curves
Look at how she swerves
Stopping traffic at a glance
I’ve been put in a trance
What a vamp!
Not a tramp!

Chorus:

She’s luscious
Wet
Cherry
Red
Luscious

Look how’s she’s walking
She’s perfect for stalking
Won’t she be mine?
I want her time
One word, one gesture
If I could conjecture

Chorus:

She’s luscious
Wet
Cherry
Red
Luscious

Yes!

Chorus:
She’s luscious
Wet
Cherry
Red
Luscious

I watch her sway
I know what to say!
“Girl, you’re hot!”
Okay, maybe not
D*mn, I’ve messed up my chance
At a chili-hot romance

Chorus:

She’s luscious
Wet
Cherry
Red
Luscious

Song: I Curse You

I composed this song in my head right before New Year’s when I was in Tampa. I have two other songs I composed at the same time, but I’m still trying to dig the lyrics out of my sub-conscious. Regardless, this is my first song-writing attempt and although I feel it’s very Alanis Morisette-like, I know we all have felt angry at a partner at some point. And please don’t try to read anything into this, I directed my feelings to a variety of men I met in the last year and when I was in my early 20’s. The only reason I’m recording the song now is because I made a New Year’s resolution to perform a certain list of activities that I had never tried before. Writing songs was one of my resolutions. Singing them is another.

And since I’m on a writing kick, I’m digging subject matter from the recesses of my brain. I thought about posting this one to my other blog since it is so dark, but that would negate the point of me writing it, cause who would see it there? So maybe the next lyrics I write will be more peppy – we’ll see what kind of celebratory mood I can get myself into…

Oh, and do I have a tune for it? Not really. Although some Garbage tunes are coming to mind now and although I would like to compose something epic like “Unforgiven” – I don’t believe I am that talented. But hell, I’ll give it a shot!

Why did you leave me all alone
Why did you cheat me of your smile
I don’t wanna stay at home
It’s not fair – I’m so filled with bile!

I curse you!
I don’t care about threefolds
I don’t care about consequences
I don’t care at all
I curse you!

I curse you
Throughout all time and space
May you never return to the place
That you knew best
I curse you
For eternity
May you never know loyalty
Even in pure lust
I curse you

You thought you were nice
I saw you as cold
It’s not right
To be so bold

I curse you
Throughout all time and space
May you find an empty face
When you wanted a chase
I curse you
For eternity
May you feel empty inside
With nowhere to hide
I curse you

400th EWH3 Hash: History lesson

Tonight is our 400th hash! In honor of this momentous occasion, I will provide a history lesson (if I know enough to repeat it correctly):

EWH3 was founded back in December 1999 by Holy Tit!, Jag Queen, BoloHead Rat and some other long-timers I’ve never met. Jag Queen, our hash lawyer, incorporated us as a non-profit so we wouldn’t have to pay taxes on the revenues we collect and so we could purchase our lovely beer van, Beauty Parlor (who was just laid to rest this previous summer). I was told that My C*ck Shoots Blanks installed the original CO2 and tap system that allowed 4 kegs to be tapped at a single time (on this point I am unsure as I know nothing about how Beauty Parlor operated).

These gentlemen wanted to attract more ladies, and believed that by appointing a female, Transparent Ds (I believe?), as GM other females would not be intimidated and flock to the sport of hashing. They named the hash Everyday is Wednesday after the hash song and since the hash ran on Wednesday. However in May 2000, Transparent D’s father (who happens to be the GM of the Great Falls hash) changed the day when Great Falls ran weekly to Wednesday. As Transparent D did not want to upset her father, the hash mis-management decided to change our regular hashing day to Thursday….which is why Everyday is Wednesday runs on Thursdays to this day (and it’s the best night to hash regardless!!).

We chose (in my mind at least) the ugliest mascot ever. It’s not even a rabbit! Or anything even remotely depicting hashing! I asked Jag Queen once what the thing was supposed to be – he told me that it’s the dog from Buster Brown.
I replied, “How old are you founders, anyhows?? I don’t even know what Buster Brown is!”
Not a very kind statement on my part, but in this instance, it’s true….I have never seen a comic strip with Buster Brown and had no idea that our mascot was his ugly-@ss dog. If I have any power in this hash, I’m going to request that the mascot be slightly altered sometime before my tenure is up (I don’t think I can swing a complete overhaul)…unless someone can provide me a compelling argument why this thing represents our hash…

EWH3 has continued its (unstated) goal of attracting females to hashing by regularly punishing hashers with a bukake when they bring large numbers of male virgins to any single hash. And EWH3 is most definitely the biggest “hook-up” hash in DC (if not the country). Average attendance last year was 116 people per hashing night (high: 179, low: 70).

Song lyrics as EWH3 sings it (only the last stanza since the song is so friggin’ long):

Today is Sunday – Today is Sunday
Sunday is a day of rest – Sunday is a day of rest….because!!!!
Saturday is a drinking day – Saturday is a drinking day!
Friday is a f*cking day – Friday is a f*cking day!
Thursday is a hashing day – Thursday is a hashing day!
Wednesday is a “lulllnh” day – Everyday is Wednesday!!
Tuesday is two-finger day – Tuesday is two-finger day!
Monday is a wanking day - Monday Sticky Monday!!

Is everybody happy?
You bet your @ss we are!!!
Doo-dooo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

We close every hash with this song and when visitors have come to town they’ve gotten very dis-combobulated by the order in which we sing. Learn it!!

I will post on the actual hash activities later this weekend….

Random thought for the day: Pickles

What is it about females and pickles? Although I know many men that like pickles, I believe it is only females that will trade heart and soul for a pickle on someone else’s plate. Maybe it’s the phallic symbolism, maybe it’s the salty flavor, maybe it’s the texture - could it possibly be a vitamin deficiency that women suffer from?

Thinking of pickles for some reason makes me think of that Presidents of the U.S.A. song, “Peaches”. It was a great peppy song from back in ’96 and I have fond memories of driving down Skyline Drive in the summer with friends belting this song out.

Now since “peaches” can be a euphemism for the hoo-ha, I’d like to have some fun substituting “peaches” with “pickles” in this song:

Movin to the country gonna eat a lot of pickles
Im movin to the country Im gonna eat me a lot of pickles
Im movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles
Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles

Pickles come from a jar they were put there by a tart
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way Id eat pickles everyday
Sun soakin bulges in the shade

Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles
Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles
Im movin to the country gonna eat a lot of pickles
Movin to the country gonna eat a lot of pickles

I took a little nap where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten pickle in my fist
And dreamed about you man
I licked my tongue all around makin it all juicy outside
Natures candy in my hand or in a jar or fried

Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free
Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free

Look out

Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free
Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free

Look out

Do you think I can get a job with Weird Al Yankovic?