EWH3 was founded back in December 1999 by Holy Tit!, Jag Queen, BoloHead Rat and some other long-timers I’ve never met. Jag Queen, our hash lawyer, incorporated us as a non-profit so we wouldn’t have to pay taxes on the revenues we collect and so we could purchase our lovely beer van, Beauty Parlor (who was just laid to rest this previous summer). I was told that My C*ck Shoots Blanks installed the original CO2 and tap system that allowed 4 kegs to be tapped at a single time (on this point I am unsure as I know nothing about how Beauty Parlor operated).
These gentlemen wanted to attract more ladies, and believed that by appointing a female, Transparent Ds (I believe?), as GM other females would not be intimidated and flock to the sport of hashing. They named the hash Everyday is Wednesday after the hash song and since the hash ran on Wednesday. However in May 2000, Transparent D’s father (who happens to be the GM of the Great Falls hash) changed the day when Great Falls ran weekly to Wednesday. As Transparent D did not want to upset her father, the hash mis-management decided to change our regular hashing day to Thursday….which is why Everyday is Wednesday runs on Thursdays to this day (and it’s the best night to hash regardless!!).
We chose (in my mind at least) the ugliest mascot ever. It’s not even a rabbit! Or anything even remotely depicting hashing! I asked Jag Queen once what the thing was supposed to be – he told me that it’s the dog from Buster Brown.I replied, “How old are you founders, anyhows?? I don’t even know what Buster Brown is!”
Not a very kind statement on my part, but in this instance, it’s true….I have never seen a comic strip with Buster Brown and had no idea that our mascot was his ugly-@ss dog. If I have any power in this hash, I’m going to request that the mascot be slightly altered sometime before my tenure is up (I don’t think I can swing a complete overhaul)…unless someone can provide me a compelling argument why this thing represents our hash…
EWH3 has continued its (unstated) goal of attracting females to hashing by regularly punishing hashers with a bukake when they bring large numbers of male virgins to any single hash. And EWH3 is most definitely the biggest “hook-up” hash in DC (if not the country). Average attendance last year was 116 people per hashing night (high: 179, low: 70).
Song lyrics as EWH3 sings it (only the last stanza since the song is so friggin’ long):
Today is Sunday – Today is SundayWe close every hash with this song and when visitors have come to town they’ve gotten very dis-combobulated by the order in which we sing. Learn it!!
Sunday is a day of rest – Sunday is a day of rest….because!!!!
Saturday is a drinking day – Saturday is a drinking day!
Friday is a f*cking day – Friday is a f*cking day!
Thursday is a hashing day – Thursday is a hashing day!
Wednesday is a “lulllnh” day – Everyday is Wednesday!!
Tuesday is two-finger day – Tuesday is two-finger day!
Monday is a wanking day - Monday Sticky Monday!!
Is everybody happy?
You bet your @ss we are!!!
Doo-dooo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
I will post on the actual hash activities later this weekend….
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