Lynchburg Room Party: Take it to the Room!

At the end of the evening, I have the following conversation with TOM:

“No reputable ex-Texas hasher would participate in a hash weekend without playing 3-man. Let's get a game going.”

“We can go back to mine and Hermie's room, but we don’t have any beer.”

“There’s a keg right there – let’s just take it with us.”

“Great idea!”

“Eunuch, @ss Spelunker,
Grab that keg and carry it to TOM’s room.”

And no one even notices us carrying the keg out of the party room! Power tripping! On a simple command 2 dudes have just carted a keg out of the party room, across the parking lot and upstairs to TOM’s second-floor room. It’s fun being a girl!

Hermie is passed out from whisky. Chlorine is in her room and passed out from drinking an entire bottle of Jager.

We leave the keg outside TOM’s room so it will stay cold (but apparently when the cops come to bust some druggies - not hashers! - we hide the keg in the room).

When the Ft. Eustis hashers in the adjoining room return, they tell us, "We tried to steal the keg too, but it was gone! We're so happy it was you guys that stole it! We have access to it!"

Ha ha!! Hasher minds think alike (but process ideas at different speeds)!

I don’t last long playing 3-man. I try to sleep on TOM’s extra bed, but Minute keeps playing with my @ss. That’s what I get for flashing my @ss to the entire Red Dress party. Stop!!! I’m trying to sleep here! Eventually, though, TOM kicks me out of her room and tells me to take @ss Spelunker with me since he doesn’t have a room.

Metro Ho and Arrested Development are locked out of their room and when they see me approaching my room they help me pound on my room door since I can’t get the latch undone. I know Schwinn is in our room.

“Schwinn, you bastard!! Let me in!! I paid for this d*mn room! I deserve to sleep in it!”

….in addition to my tendency of not sleeping in the rooms I pay for, I also have a tendency of getting locked out of my hotel rooms. Maybe I should learn to not share rooms with guys….does getting locked out of my room cause me to not sleep in my room? There might be a connection there….

Finally, Metro grabs the room key from my hand and swipes it. Voila! The door opens! Hey! How’d that happen? That's what happens when a drunk chick tries to open her own friggin' door....

So now we have a crowd crashing in my room and Metro is starving. She is very vocal about it and begs Schwinn to get food from the party room. Schwinn honorably gets up and promises to return with the meatballs that were served earlier, but he never returns. WTF?? Schwinn, where'd you disappear to?