Random thought for the day: Pickles

What is it about females and pickles? Although I know many men that like pickles, I believe it is only females that will trade heart and soul for a pickle on someone else’s plate. Maybe it’s the phallic symbolism, maybe it’s the salty flavor, maybe it’s the texture - could it possibly be a vitamin deficiency that women suffer from?

Thinking of pickles for some reason makes me think of that Presidents of the U.S.A. song, “Peaches”. It was a great peppy song from back in ’96 and I have fond memories of driving down Skyline Drive in the summer with friends belting this song out.

Now since “peaches” can be a euphemism for the hoo-ha, I’d like to have some fun substituting “peaches” with “pickles” in this song:

Movin to the country gonna eat a lot of pickles
Im movin to the country Im gonna eat me a lot of pickles
Im movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles
Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles

Pickles come from a jar they were put there by a tart
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way Id eat pickles everyday
Sun soakin bulges in the shade

Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles
Movin to the country Im gonna eat a lot of pickles
Im movin to the country gonna eat a lot of pickles
Movin to the country gonna eat a lot of pickles

I took a little nap where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten pickle in my fist
And dreamed about you man
I licked my tongue all around makin it all juicy outside
Natures candy in my hand or in a jar or fried

Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free
Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free

Look out

Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free
Millions of pickles pickles for me
Millions of pickles pickles for free

Look out

Do you think I can get a job with Weird Al Yankovic?