The Leg Warmers

Hoover Daaamn called me earlier in the week and wants to have an all-girl’s party weekend. Her boyfriend is moving in with her in 3 weeks and I’d Do ‘Er’s boyfriend is out of town this weekend, so we’re gonna attempt to revive one of our traditions from last year. I have some events I must attend on Saturday (my MBA Class Reunion and my work holiday party), but after 10pm Saturday, I’m home free!

…so let’s begin with Friday….Hoover contacts Little C*ck that Won’t and discovers that an 80’s cover band, The Leg Warmers, will be performing at the State Theater tonight.

I’m not as fanatic about 80’s pop, but I love me some 80’s rock! Of course, as Little C*ck is manning the door tonight, we’re home free! Hoover and I do not own any 80’s apparel because, in my opinion, it is the ugliest clothing of ANY generation. But let me tell you! I have never seen so many chicks wearing ponytails off to one side, big strings of beads, big belts on over-size sweaters, and denim skirts over loud leggings. The dudes are in the spirit too – dark sunglasses with neon frames, polo shirts with popped collars, headbands a la Olivia Newton John. The costumes alone are worth the visit!

In the meantime, I am experiencing wardrobe malfunctions myself. I’m wearing one of my older thongs that is high-waisted while wearing low-waisted jeans. To complicate matters, my jeans don’t fit me properly and keep sliding down my hips. Hoover recommends that I just remove my underwear so it isn’t as blatant that I’m having wardrobe issues. No problem! Commando is easy! Well, then again, maybe not. My jeans are even lower on my hips now and I’m prominently displaying plumber’s crack anytime I move. Ah well…if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

Little C*ck specifically points the two of us out to security in case we get in trouble. Us? Get in trouble? No way! We cause fights, not start them! I, of course, proudly bend over and display my commando @ss crack. That security guard isn’t going forget this trouble-maker!!

The band is excellent (for a cover band). They legitimately sound like the real thing (for the songs that I recognize). Well, I can’t say they are convincing for any of the hip-hop songs (what are they thinking?), but for Guns n’ Roses, Pat Benatar, AC/DC, and Black Sabbath covers, they do a bang-up job! The crowd favorite, though, is the B-52s “Love Shack”. Very peppy song, but I would rather hear “Groove is in the Heart”. And aren’t they getting their decades a bit mixed up?? I could swear that “Love Shack” was early 90s….Ahh well, I did say I wasn’t an 80’s pop fanatic. However, I wouldn’t PAY to see an 80’s cover band. In fact, I’d like to know what these tickets are going for. I swear! Any gimmick sells these days!

Bar: Ireland’s 4 Provinces
Total Bar Count: 9
Total DC Bars: 1