TX Invasion

Tonight’s hash is on the red line. Yay! I don’t have to leave so early from work in order to get to the hash on time. I arrive at Dupont Circle at 6:38 pm. I’m late? Says who? Cum Dumpling (the On Sec). Jeez! The hash doesn’t start until 6:45 pm. Why am I considered late? Although, with the summer months approaching, I will concede that arriving early for hash cash is a good practice (easier to check in 150 people starting at 6:30 than at 6:45 when we are expecting to begin circle at 7:05). I’ll see if I can try better.

And look who’s here! Hermaphrodites on Unicycles and his wife, Tube of Meat (TOM), from TX. Good to see you both again! They’re both wild and crazy traditional TX hashers (meaning they’ll say and do ANYTHING). I have to say, though, they are the DFLs to the beer check. Was there some s*x on trail going on there? Hee hee!

Despite Hokie’s presence as a hare, the trail has only some mild shiggy incorporating one stream crossing. I did put on Ivy Block just in case. I don’t need a case of poison ivy like I had last year. That Ivy Block is going to stay in my hash bag all summer long.

It’s a long first half and extremely humid, but all in all, not a bad trail (I was warned about the length, though). We have a shot check on the second half – Long Island Iced Tea – 5 types of liquor. Pow! I don’t need another one of those! Potent!

And did anyone actually run the entire trail besides myself and a few others? D*mn shortcutters! Bleeder, you’re one of the worst offenders! He runs around an entire stream to avoid the water crossing and then later runs across the Indian bridge rather than follow trail below it. He probably does pick up trail on the other side, though. The hares have run the trail up along the road on the other side of the bridge. You guys should know better than to make it EASY to shortcut. Of course, since veteran hashers know every possible beer check in the Dupont/Adams Morgan corridor, it’s an easy task to shortcut.

I know I’m a working girl at the hash, but can’t y’all late-cummers wait until I at least take care of some basic sustenance (orange food) before trying to stuff money down my boobs? Jeez! When I or Cum Dumpling start screaming “Late Sign-In”, you’ll know when we’re open for business. However, I like to circulate the crowd, so I can understand that hashers have some difficulty tracking me down. PSA tries to train me to stay in one spot, but I’m a bit stubborn.

Now, back to our transplants, Hermie and TOM. At ending circle, EWH3 follows a tradition where visitors choose between singing a song, telling a joke, or showing a body part. Well! Since Hermie competed for Mr. TX Interhash by walking around naked for a 24 hour period, I have no doubt what his choice will be (I’m not surprised by TOM’s choice either – she IS married to him). But, KP, do you HAVE to introduce the visitors first? You’re gonna scare all the virgins away before they even get a chance to introduce themselves. Those poor virgins thought they would have to do the same thing when they got called out into the circle. Calm down, now. This is probably the worst it will ever get (well, except for when Schmegg and Schweicken were swordfighting while trying on their 69-run shorts).

And finally, Bleeder can now shout, “Ticketmaster loves the c*ck” and have a backup section since there are more than a few TX hashers that now reside in the area. Hmmm…that Brokeback Mountain fever is spreading!