Weekend at Hermie’s

This weekend there isn’t much going on, so when I get a call informing me that Hermie has invited his friends to drink and sing karaoke at his local VFW, I’m all for it.

Now about 6 months ago, TOM’s homeowner’s association implemented visitor pass regulations and distributed 2 visitor passes to each homeowner. Since Hermie and TOM like to host parties regularly and didn’t agree with this new stipulation, they duplicated the visitor passes (and quite well too – I wouldn’t know the difference if I was asked to compare them). Because how can you have a party with only 2 carfuls of guests??? As an alternative, though, we could always park in the shopping center next door for overflow parking.

So we get drunk from plentiful and cheap booze at the VFW and spend the night. Then in the morning, we play several sessions of “Scene It?” on Hermie’s X-Box. Then we watch Balls of Glory and The Princess Bride and Fight Club and Beerfest. As you can see, this is turning into a marathon weekend of doing absolutely nothing but sitting around and drinking with buddies.

Before you know it, it’s almost midnight on Saturday. Hermie has ordered pizza and we’re in the midst of playing another session of “Scene It?”. Then the doorbell rings. I assume it’s the pizza delivery guy. Turns out, it’s Hermie’s next-door neighbor. She asks if any of us own a Jeep Wrangler because a tow truck just hauled it off. WTF???!! Sh*t!! That was Cheffy’s Jeep. Somebody must have caught on.

@ss Ogre and Rambutt up and leave, Chestnuts calls the number on the tow sign, and I see if I can make it hard for my SUV to be towed by locking the wheels in a turned position.

About 5 minutes later, I’m sitting next to the window and I hear what sounds like a big rig motor outside. Cheffy and I immediately look out the 2^nd floor window. Chlorine’s Grand Prix is missing. Okay, this is serious.

This time, I move my SUV to the shopping center. I’m not taking any chances. Designer and Wh*re Taste follow suit. However, when I pull into the shopping center, I notice the same tow signs that are in TOM’s development. I feel very uneasy about leaving my car there.

In fact, when I return to the Hermie’s house, I inform @ss Spelunker to get his shoes on because we’re leaving. He b*tches and moans about it being unsafe to drive after midnight, but I insist. Besides, I slept on the floor on Friday night and am not looking forward to sleeping on it again. Especially when I haven’t been drinking (I stopped around 7pm – I can only take so much). No one else is inclined to leave (or not sober), so we say our goodbyes and head out.

The next morning, we get a phone call around 9:30am. Designer is calling and informs us that Wh*re Taste’s car was towed out of the shopping center. The only people that did not have their cars towed were Chestnuts (who had a real permit – not a fake one) and Designer (who knows why? – she thinks it’s her AWD Subaru). So, I made the right choice by leaving when I did. However, the rest of my buddies are out $125 a piece. Extortion!!

TOM and Hermie plan on bringing this issue up with their homeowner’s association. I think Chestnuts plans to threaten to sue (on behalf of her friends). I really don’t think there is anything that can be done, but we’ll see. But is this the end of parties at Hermie’s and TOM’s???