Thursday, December 01, 2005

Black Fuzzy Scarf Top

What is wrong with me? I have a head cold and my right hip socket aches on occasion (I don't feel it when I'm running, though). I'm not old enough for arthritis!

I lose the pack almost immediately after leaving the circle. I manage to follow trail for the most part until I cross Connecticut Ave. Fortunately, there's a dude stretching in the park and he tells me what direction the pack ran in. I'm the absolute LAST person in. I'm so ashamed of myself - where is my posse of DFLs? Dick in the Eye, I've seen you tonight! Why aren't you running? Lazy mofo! Too cold for ya?

The brew crew didn't buy enough beer. WTF??!! We run out of beer about 1/2 hour after finishing up the hash. There is a surprisingly large number of hashers out for a cold night like this.

Eat Street Meat is a virgin scribe and does a pretty good job. He is funny on the spot and times his delivery well. I wish I could do as well as him. Although I'd like to be hash scribe, I don't feel confident with my delivery. I guess I'll just stick to blogging....

We have a naming tonight. Obese-iologist has a thing for fat chicks and cows. Since he has a doctorate, it's pretty logical that he should be a fat doctor. No?

Nub and Knee Deep share a birthday today! I buy Nub a bourbon and coke and attempt repeatedly to buy Knee Deep a beer, but the dudes are keeping her well-stocked. I tried, at least!

I love Dick in the Eye! She totally cracks me up! She has a conversation with Obese-iologist in Spanish.
After they're done speaking, he asks her, "How'd you know I speak Spanish?"
"You smell like you speak Spanish."
He's incredulous, "I do not!"
DITE brings Friendly Thighs over.
"Smell him. Doesn't he smell like chili peppers?"
Friendly Thighs gets close to him and takes a big sniff.
Obese-iologist is startled and asks, "What're you doing?"
DITE replies, "You smell like Spanish."
Dick in the Eye, I've missed you! Don't take an extended period off from hashing again! Keep your mama healthy!

Earlier, when all the chickies were changing, a black furry scarf was found in the bathroom. Since Knee Deep doesn't know who it belongs to, all the girls take turns wearing it. Cock-a-doodle-do-me wears it with her Elvis sunglasses and looks positively stunning. Then I run across Chummin' the Daughter.....

He's wearing a black fuzzy tube top. It looks like the scarf, it feels like the scarf, but it's around his chest like a top. Huh?
Knee Deep tells me, "It's one of those magic scarfs. It stretches into whatever you want it to be."
"Lemme try that on!"
I put it on and since its acting like a tube top, I have to take my white bra off cause it just doesn't match, otherwise. Big mistake! When you're only wearing one layer (that isn't very stable to begin with), you're a sitting target for hashers. Takes it up the Ehh keeps grabbing the bottom of the top and tries to pull it down, but I'm too quick for him. But watch out! I haven't prepared for harrierettes molesting me! Nasty When Wet grabs my boob! Since I'm bra-less, she gets a handful of furry boob. Aahhhh! I wasn't expecting that!

I introduce myself to Just Julia while wearing the black fuzzy top. She looks at me funny, but doesn't say anything. I'm a bit uncomfortable since the top keeps slipping down, so I go to the bathroom to change back into my other top.
When I come back out with the scarf, she exclaims, "Hey, that's mine!"
"I was just wearing it. Didn't you recognize it? The girls have been passing it around all evening."
"No, I thought your top looked familiar, but I didn't know it was my scarf."
Girl! Keep better track of your possessions! But we had some fun with it, didn't we?

At the end of the evening, I close out my tab and the bartender approaches me.
"Do you know that guy that was sitting at the end of the bar?"
"Yeah, he's a hasher - Bad Dog."
"Well, he left without paying for his meal and drinks."
"He didn't leave a credit card?"
"No, he up and left without paying."
Bad Dog! Shame on you! Go back to the Uptown Tavern and settle your bill, man! If any of y'all run across him, violate his a$$! You're giving us hashers a bad name!

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