Drive Thru....What?

Today I skedaddle out of work early, so I can go to Chantilly for the hash. I haven't hashed with the Sh*tters in over 2 months. I'm overdue! Well, it's slow at the office (everyone's on vacation this week), so no one will miss me.

I'm warned by Jerkin the Gherkin that I will get my feet wet if I choose to run. I guess I'm not running, then, am I? (Of course, it doesn't help that my lazy a$$ is tired and stuffed from eating too many Christmans goodies.)

While strolling through the cornfields of Chanilly, I introduce myself to this evening's two virgins that hail from Lubbock, TX. Now it just so happens that one virgin is And How’s Her Bush’s son. Recruiting from inside the family now, huh? I totally give them the 2nd degree. (as I do everyone - no need to discriminate! You know, as my brain sidetracks, I can totally picture myself as an old harpy peering out my window spying on the next generation of rowdy hashers throwing hot tub parties at 3am 40 years from now.)

It’s good to get returning visitors, too! Gerry A$$ Tricks is back from Minnesota and Sideshow Jesus is in from Ithaca. I have actually forgotten that GAT isn’t a Sh*tter. I just assume he's just another regular. See, there! Some hashers fit in everywhere!

He def scared some civilians with his shorts and cowboy hat, though. Whattya mean it's warm outside? I don't care what the temperature is in Minnesota - it's still 30 degrees out!

At the beer check, I pick up a Bartles and James Fuzzy Navel wine cooler (mainly out of curiosity - I can't remember the last time I had a wine cooler - maybe the first year in college?). Blaaach!! It tastes like orange medicine! Nasty! I pour it on the ground. (Do hashers get violated for throwing away ANY alcoholic beverages or just beer?) Fortunately (or unfortunately for others), I leave the circle early to meet up with a school friend at the on-on-on.

My girl T (you know, the one that threw the re-bachelorette party) lives out this way and hauls her brand new housemate (from roommates.com, no less) to Bungalow Billiards. Poor dude! I think he's been blindsided! His jaw hangs open all evening while conversing with the hashers. T is an old pro - I brought her to hash social events back in June - nothing fazes her.

Gerry A$$ Tricks informs me that there is a Drive Thru Ho at some hash in Minnesota. Really?? Gotta find my fellow Drive Thru's, Driver's, Late Nite's, Late's, and Night's around the world, I guess. I'll make that my next mission...

Unfortunately, a chick the hasher men have been recruiting overhears Gerry A$$ Tricks' comment and calls me Drive Thru Slut. Thanks, chickie. I needed that. Nothing like a newbie to put it all back into perspective for you, huh?