Lessons Learned: Whisky Tasting

1. Guilt is a powerful weapon when trying to coerce someone into doing something they are reluctant to do. Like painting houses.
2. If you are going to attend a whisky tasting party after spending the day painting an apartment building, make sure to take a nap between events.
3. @ss Spelunker owns a suit. In fact, he owns a blue pinstripe suit with a REAL silk shirt. I kid you not!
4. When you ask your significant other to look up an address, actually wait 1 minute before giving them the what-to-for. Otherwise, you will never know if he was just blowing you off or really was going to do the task in 1 minute.
5. Even if you try to dress conservatively, Christmas cleavage (whether a smidge or overflowing) provides holiday cheer.
6. There are many types of whisky: Scotch (single-malt or blended), Canadian, Irish, Bourbon, Rye, Corn (otherwise known as moonshine) – try not to sample them all in one evening.
7. When drinking whisky, nurse your drinks carefully and don’t pour more than a shot at a time. You may be able to continue tasting after 2 hours that way.
8. Although Military Special may not be of a caliber for a whisky tasting, it’s a great mixing whisky for those that can’t tolerate straight whisky and don’t want to be caught mixing the Chivas Regal with coke.
9. Whisky slush contains orange juice, lemonade, tea, and most importantly, whisky. This amalgamation is a delicious reminder of a whisky sour – and just as potent.
10. Real eggnog contains raw eggs and can give you food poisoning if not stored correctly. Instead, buy the eggnog that comes pre-mixed with rum – it contains no dairy or eggs, so poses no danger when left on a table full of mixers all night long.
11. You know you are drunk when the hostess points out that she forgot to put the mistletoe decorations up after you are caught making out with your significant other.
12. You know your significant other thinks you are drunk when he tells other guests in your presence that he plans on getting you drunk enough that he can do you up the butt.
13. A Santa hat that is longer than your dress, begs the question – is the hat too long? Or the dress too short?
14. Bring a box of macaroni and cheese to a party. When you get the food munchies past midnight, you can always make a tasty snack – even if you make it only with water.
15. You realize you passed out WAAAAY early when you wake up the next morning and there are other guests crashing who never saw you the previous night.