Early New Year's Resolution

Exercise! Yes, it’s that time of year again. I’m thinking about all the turkey and cookies I’ve been eating this holiday season. Another concern is that I’ve slowed down my out-all-night-partying pace, so I’m not expending as many calories running myself into the ground. Now, I’ve never been one to come up with New Year’s resolutions and I’m a tad bit early to be thinking of them now, but there’s no time like the present!

So what’s a girl to do? Go out and take care of business! So I walk into my old gym that’s around the corner from my house, speak to the membership guy that still remembers me as a gym rat (I seriously spent 20 hours a week in his gym pre-2003), and join up for the same rate I was paying before.

Now in the future, I won’t be hashing and going to the gym in the same day, but it’s been forever since I’ve lifted ANY weights. Besides, if I work my upper body, I shouldn’t have any issues hashing later (a lower body activity), right? So I hit all the major muscle groups – all with free weights (except the chest presses – I use a Smith machine for those – they’re a bit dangerous without a spotter). Now chicks will never be able to lift as much as guys, but I’m mortified that I can only handle 3lbs on the skull-crushers. Where’d my muscles go? At least I could handle 10lbs before!

It’s 1pm by the time I get out of the gym, but is my exercise over for the day? No way! The hash is at 3pm in Sterling and RU-469 carpools with me. We are some dedicated hashers to drive all the way out there!

Damn! The hares say we are going to get our feet wet, and boy do we ever. When I survive the tunnel underneath Rt. 28 I’m thinking that’s the end of the water obstacles, but am I wrong! We have to cross a friggin’ river! There’s a cement block going all the way across the river (what’s the purpose of those things? Are they mini-dams?). I hike up my pants and stick my feet in. Brrrrr! That water is ice cold! Where did my feet go? I can’t feel them anymore. All the other creeks we cross later are warm in comparison to that river. Whose idea was it to do this hash during the winter? I’m such a whiner.

It’s a long a$ trail too. It takes an hour to complete the first half. Since I’ve expended all my energy at the gym, I’m only able to walk the second half. I hurt already! What’s going to happen tomorrow after my muscles get stiff? I don’t even want to imagine…

The ending circle is entertaining as it always is. I wonder who the new RA will be? I’ll miss SCFC – he’s pretty d*mn good.

Hokie keeps the Hokie sh*t (big surprise there) and almost gets the hash sh*t too because he had surgery on his a$ this week. He is on all sorts of painkillers and sedatives and is drinking heavily to boot. That dude is gonna go into a coma! Too bad he doesn’t get the hash sh*t cause the pack jokes that he needs a special display rack for all the hash sh*ts he has collected. Apparently, he already has one in his car – it’s his gun rack! Instead the hash sh*t is given to Read My Lips for inciting a fight with a black dude over his woman (no, I don’t know the whole story – I wish I did!).

Wow! We get FREE tortilla chips AND wings at Chili’s! Of course, I order a steak despite all the free food. Don’t ask me why! I could’ve been happy with wings, I just wasn’t in the mood. Likely story, huh? When are chicks EVER in the mood?

The poor waitress is swamped with all us hashers invading her bar territory. To top it off, there’s not enough seating for us all. We’re crowding the aisles making it impossible for the waitress to serve us.

There is an old lady sitting in the corner occupying a 10-person table all by her lonesome, but when Dano asks if he can separate the table, she snaps that she is expecting a party. After that, the dudes are afraid to approach her cause they think she’ll rip their throats out. Well! An hour later, about 5 people show up at her table, but they certainly don’t fill it. Nasty old biddy!

And finally a wonderful photoshop pic contributed by WH4's hash flash, Test Tube Baby.