RoadKill's House Party

RoadKill’s party is lots of fun! Not a crazy, tear-the-house-down kind of party, but more a laid-back conversational type party (with the exception of DSW – that girl is CRAZY!). The large majority of guests are hashers, but there are a substantial number of non-hashers (I don’t think I offended any of them, but I interpreted a few looks that said, “Tramp” – maybe they didn’t like my serving wench top or my ample display of cleavage).

RoadKill has a very comfortable leather sofa on his front poch. IHOV, RU-469, Texas T&A, DSW, OFE, and I all fight for spots on it throughout the night. OFE, isn’t it odd that you’re the only male fighting for a spot? Hmmm….what am I implying here? Hee, hee!

PSA tells me I’m highly respected in the hash for not sleeping around when I’m drunk off my ass. PSA, I don’t know if that’s something I should be proud of or not…it almost implies that I can’t get laid even if I try! Are you giving me a back-handed insult?

DSW is in rare form tonight. I swear that girl does the most outrageous things imaginable – where does she think this stuff up? Since I’m under the influence of RK’s toxic punch, I allow DSW to re-arrange my tits so that I’ll pop more convincingly out of my serving-wench top.

Not that it does me much good later, though. DSW and Fizzy’s girl, K, are making out on the leather sofa next to me. I’m trying to ignore them, but it’s a bit difficult cause they’re making slurping sounds (Gross! Come on, girls! You can be quieter and less sloppy about it! Okay, so you’ve got me! I’m a very neat kisser – I don’t like out-of-control tongue action – aggressive, sure! But finesse is required!). In any case, I’m trying to be inconspicuous in my squeamishness, but damn that Rodeo!

He somehow observes the expression on my face and shouts out for everyone on the porch, “Aren’t you enjoying it? Don’t you want to join in?”

Great! Now all eyes are on me!

I reply, “No, girls kissing doesn’t do anything for me. Show me a hard c*ck on the other hand….”

DSW doesn’t like my reply and takes it as a challenge to her sexuality. Girl! Look just because I’m not attracted to you, there’s no reason to be offended – I don’t swing that way, is all! She attempts to stuff her tongue down my throat, but only manages to give me a sloppy one on the jawline. Since I’ve rebuffed her, it’s payback time for me! She attacks me, removes my bra and throws it across the porch – one of RoadKill’s non-hasher friends catches it (great save, dude!). At least I escaped with most of my clothes intact!

The fun doesn't end there, though! DSW loudly farts for us. The group on the porch groans loudly, but before we have time to react properly she bends over again and points her ass in OFE's and TTA's direction. It seems as if we're in suspended animation....everything gets real quiet and we hear this loud hiss...

OFE's words: "I actually saw the underwear move due to air turbulence!"

Dudes! She farted! She is too much!

DSW then removes the underwear she just farted in (coincidentally, I own a pair exactly like hers) and wears it on her head so that the crotch of her underwear is over her nose (I think I'll leave this one alone - y'all can insert your own commentary on this one!).

Fizzy states, "I have no sense of smell, but that can't smell good..."

I have to admit that she gets me rolling! Even now, I'm falling over on the floor remembering it!