Lessons Learned: Ft. Eustis AGM

1. When offered road-head by your significant other, don’t respond with, “I can’t, I’m driving” even if you can’t trust your own driving to keep you on the road.
2. Leaving the shower curtain open to make sure that someone can’t sneak up on you to pour cold water on you doesn’t work when the person can easily throw cold water on you from another room. Lock the door instead.
3. John Taylor’s window for performing sock-dressed d*ck tricks is getting shorter since Barcode’s grandbaby is growing. In the future, the socks may be too large for his d*ck.
4. Even Cheffy does not have plausible cause to reserve a king waterbed room with his male virgin.
5. If the Moose lodge waitress is only allowed to pour one shot at a time into your wooden mug, provide her with multiple vessels to pour shots into, as a single shot will not make an adequate mixed drink in a 32 oz vessel.
6. Tippy cup is a game that requires easy access to a puke repository. If the restrooms are not easily accessible or if your significant other refuses to go outside while it is snowing to hold your hair, do not play.
7. Don’t be surprised that your room gets invaded when you reserve one of the 3 hotel rooms available with a hot tub.
8. Two naked hot chicks in a tub are appealing until someone mentions that they are related.
9. Young men (anyone under 40) need to watch out for cougars lounging naked in hot tubs and random beds.
10. If items disappear out of your room, always blame the Trash. Especially when some room keys are skeleton keys for other rooms.