I arrive at the Sh*t hash and start my usual round of mingling around the crowd. I run into C*ckSpur who was at the scuba diving trip with me this past weekend. He's upset that I didn't name-drop him on my blog. Dude! I can't mention EVERYONE I talk to! I promise to mention him if he does something stupid.
But actually, he did do something that warrants mention and it totally slipped my mind (hey! you can't expect me to remember EVERYTHING when I'm composing these posts, can you?). In fact, what he did merits a nomination for a violation.
On the scuba trip this past weekend, all the divers were camping out at Lake Rawlins, but CS was too TIRED to set up his tent. So instead of hanging out with the rest of us and listen to DQ and RW crack jokes, he split at 9:00pm to rent a hotel room for $55/night (vs. the $15 to camp). The next morning he doesn't appear at the designated 7:00am start time. In fact, he doesn't show up until 8:30am. By that time, the divers have pretty much finished up their dives, so he doesn't even complete his certification because he missed his last dive. He claims he missed his wake-up call and was in such a rush to head out of the hotel, he didn't even shower! Man! after diving in the lake that would have been the FIRST thing I would have hit - forget the bed! We know where your priorities lie!
And why is it that everytime I nominate someone for a violation - I get violated for nominating that person? It's unfair! It was a legitimate violation, but everyone wants to know WHY I know he didn't take a shower! He told me, is why!
The fun doesn't end there though! I'm nominated for the hash shit. I've never been nominated for the hash shit before and the reason I'm nominated is so lame! I run the walkers trail cause Nub said the runners should try to shorten the length of the trail since it's getting late. I guess I'm the only runner that wants to continue running cause I'm the FRB for the walkers - like that's something to be proud of! But y'all know me - I crack jokes about myself all the time, so I joke about wanting to be a FRB running the walkers trail.
So it's me vs. the virgin hare Just Scott (he made some mistakes laying the trail). Well, of course, everyone cheers just as loudly for me as for him, so we have to have a trial by down-down. Oh no! I can't chug a beer! I'm gonna get the hash shit for sure! We both pull full cans of beer from the cooler and pour them into a plastic cup. I head back to the circle and Holy drinks 3/4 of my beer for me. Whew! I have a competitive advantage now. But guess what! I still lose the down-down race! By rights, And Hows Her Bush should have awarded the hash shit to me, but since I'm not a regular sh*t hasher - he awards the hash shit to Just Scott. That was a close one!
4 comments:
You know, for someone who brags about her vocal/throat openings sooo much, how come you can't chug a beer?
I recomend a few hours of practice. just get a case and practice till you get it!
=)
Actually, Just Scott volunteered to take the hashit after the chug-off. I think he was being gallant. Or he just didn't want anyone saying "OOOOOO...! Big man beat a GIRL!" He is also kind of cute, dontcha think?
--FP
thanks for the clarification, FP - I was a bit puzzled how I didn't end up with it
we had a virgin hare tuesday night as well. it's really hard to see small handfulls of flour in the grass in the dark.
that's why his alter ego hash name is "pack fucker"
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