I'm Running in the Rain! What a Glorious Feeling! I'm Happy Again!

It's a rainy, miserable day. I run okay today, not great, but okay. There are two shot checks. Yay! Love me some shots, but those jello shots are super strong!

The visitor, Fire in the Hole, introduced the hash to a great alternative ending for the "Who's Got Head?" chant last week. She's a funny lady! We need to keep her around for a while! At the beer check, she explains that her ex-husband used to be a hasher, but now forbids it.

"After our divorce, he turned to God cause he couldn't have the goddess."

Wow! what a great line! I'm gonna have to remember that one! Maybe in the future, I can have people refer to me as the wondress goddess, LNDT!....well, maybe in my dreams...

In order to be a goddess though, I need to be a bit more knowledgeable and less gullible. You know, TurtleD*ck tries to gain sympathy points from me by telling me he lost his wedding ring? TD, what's the point in playing me like that? I know you're married! However, he's told me that women are friendlier to him now that he's married than when he was single. That's cause you're safe! I love him, though - how couldn't I love a fellow Terp? He also buys me beer! And boy, do I get trashed tonight (this is becoming a rather disturbingly regular occurence)!

Everytime I turn around, I'm telling people, "My beer is mostly full - I'm an optimist!"

So what do they do? They refill my beer to the brim! I have absolutely no idea how much I've drunk because the bottom half of my beer always stays constant. And as usual, what do I do when I get tipsy? I start displaying my underwear (I'm not wearing a normal bra, so can't display that today).

Just Keith and Just Alex start putting money under my g-string (that's not the first time that's happened either - I can't tell you how many times in the past couple of months I've undressed to find money stuffed in odd places...). I'm so proud of earning a couple of bucks, I show them off to Pimpsicle and Can't Stop the Semen. Did I mention there are lots of non-hashers in the bar tonight? Well, I must have impressed a crowd of them cause the waitress comes over to me and passes me a fiver from a group at one of the tables. Well, like any good stripper, I walk over to the table and thank them for their tip.

My mistake - I ask them, "What can I do for you fellas?"
Dude across the table replies, "You can give my friend in front of you a motorboat."
"What's a motorboat?"

The entire table busts out laughing. It's bad enough the hashers know I don't know jack about slang, but now an entire table of strangers, too? (please, please Santy Claus - send me an urban dictionary for Xmas!). I can't continue to make a fool of myself in public. Oh! Wait up! I do that anyways! Who am I trying to fool here?

That's not the only SexEd 501 term I learn today, either. Just Mark is another instructor who informs me of the definition of blue balls. Don't ask me how this came up...all I remember is that Friendly Thighs and him are wrestling in the metro station and she pounds him into the dirt. Go girl! Show him how you can kick some ass!

And I must have bjs on the brains today cause I can count at least 3 different conversations I participate in concerning them.

1st:

"Plltttthhhh!!! (that's me blowing a raspberry by the way)"
"Hey, who/what you blow at work is none of my business. I understand that job security is important these days, so do what you gotta do"

2nd:

"Are you any good at bjs?"
"Ummmm...."
"Come on! You gotta know!"

3rd:

"Who does a person have to blow in order to become hash cash?" (I didn't ask this, btw)
"Well, you can start with the GM...."

Damn! How do I get myself involved in these conversations, anyhows? Must have been all the titty grabbing...Oh, didn't I tell y'all about that? DITE accuses me of not washing my hands after peeing, so TD encourages me to take my pee-stained hands and grab her boobs. That sets off a round of me grabbing every girl's boobs in sight. I think Toothfairy even has pics, somewhere....