W rubs lotion on L’s back (L is topless) while fat man watches from the north tower
L finishes off both bags of chips and popcorn (talk about an insatiable appetite!)
W’s insatiable appetite kicks in while in Tin City, Naples
W craved fried food but couldn’t find any restaurants serving fried fish; discovers Naples restaurants are closed for lunch
Cheeburger Cheeburger service bad – 2 girls waitressing; 1 is taking orders, 1 is serving drinks and food; normal staff is 4 waitresses
Naples shopping overrated and overpriced and targets 50-yr old women
Towel man tries to sell W a lotion to turn sunburn into a tan, gives W a sample– he must have been checking out her patchy boobs! – sample is ineffective, boobs still patchy on Sunday
L spots Elvis in the pool wearing wraparound sunglasses, 70s style hair, large neck chains and bracelets and rings on all fingers
Elvis turns out to be an Italian Entrepreneur that shouts to the poolside waiter “Yo, Yo!” while ordering 10 drinks for his buddies and floozies (L thinks they are strippers)
Elvis’s 2 floozies approach the pool in thongs and sarongs that are transparent when wet
Floozie #1 – Brunette with hoop earrings as large as saucers, pretty, black thong reveals she has no ass
Floozie #2 – Strawberry blond, ugly as sin (think Tammy Faye Baker), orange thong reveals bikini tan line (extremely disturbing – L & W can’t look away – again playing out the 2 lesbians on vacation role)
L gets ready for her date with Ray and promises to return to feed W by 9pm
L asks Ray if his bike had room for 2 – Ray’s response: “No” – Ray’s bike only fits 2 (obviously!) – he thought W would be joining him & L for dinner, so L took the car leaving W stranded at the hotel
Ray goes off to play his gig and L returns to hotel at 9:30pm and W is ravenous – head to Bimini’s (where L and Ray had just left)
L tells bartender at Bimini’s she is double-dating Ray and W in single evening
L & W meet Jim and Sim while at Bimini’s, Sim is a drunk 64-yr old man
Sim hits on every woman at the bar including the 2 lesbians on a date (not L & W!, but sitting next to L & W!) – he spills red wine on them and they leave in disgust
Sim and Jim are from Miami and are celebrating the bachelor party of their buddy who is a 50-yr old Venezuelan who will marry a 25-yr old Japanese woman in 90 days
L & W leave Bimini’s to become cougars (old women picking up young men) at Bombay
Bombay bouncer and cop recommend checking out Clamdiggers where L & W won’t feel like predators
Clamdiggers is a dump (and owned by cop’s wife); L & W head back to Bombay and pay the $5 cover
Bombay filled with 40 people (it’s packed!) – 20 are Hispanic, all 40 people are under 25
Hispanics like L; W performs butt blocks for L
W (having drunk one too many) tells bouncer on way out that the old women tore up the dance floor; W also tells bouncer he’s buff and asks if he’s wearing a ring (he’s not)
As W & L walk away, bouncer yells “Girl, have you got some nice hips” and 2nd cop announces he’s not wearing a ring either over his megaphone; L is hurt – she demands to know WHO has the nice hips
W still stumbling drunk upon arrival at hotel and notices many bugs in hotel room
L sprays bug spray inside hotel room immediately turning room toxic
W, trying to be courteous, sprays herself with bug spray on balcony
W is only wearing a t-shirt and a thong and drunkenly decides to spray up inside her t-shirt
L, unfortunately, catches a full rear view of W spraying bug spray up her ass through the hotel windows
L races to the balcony door and yells “What the HELL are you doing?”
W replies “Spraying bug spray on myself” (like spraying your ass with bug spray is a normal everyday event!)
W passes out on bed at 1:30am while L goes for a walk on the beach with Ray
W gets munchies at 4:30am and realizes L isn’t back yet from her walk on the beach
W wonders if an Aruba situation is at hand and lays back down to sleep (truly concerned!)
L sneaks in 5 min later – L jumps 3 feet in the air when W calls out L’s name; L thought she was being super-quiet sneaking in, but L had no chance since W’s stomach woke her up, L feels like naughty teenager caught by mother
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