Preparing for the tubing trip, OFE recommends that all females remember to rub sunscreen on their nipples. Of course, LNDT asks why! Why? Because the girls need to be prepared for the topless kegstands (oh, you guys are still fantasizing about that?). MM prepares a GALLON jug of rum and coke (talk about stamina! How watered down is that rum?).
LNDT jumps in the river for the tubing trip and ties up to her buddies DITE and FT. LNDT attempts to sunbathe her backside since her front half is several shades darker. While lazily drifting along, LNDT feels something poking her thigh in the water. LNDT turns around and is startled by the presence of a canoe between her legs! (where did that come from?) She almost got rammed up the ass! Anal Fission says “You could have been violated!” Now why would Sideshow Boobs and Dildo Shaggins steer so badly that they would almost incapacitate poor LNDT? Be careful, next time! How would LNDT explain that one to the emergency room?
LNDT can’t sit still for long (gee, what gives you that idea?) and decides to paddle over to the other flotilla of tubes. LNDT spots MM and joins him next to Back Snatch and the raft Bad Ditch is manning. While conversing with fellow tubers, LNDT screams when she feels something wet and furry brush her leg. Lord amercy! Mitey Tite’s dog, Duke, is swimming between the tubes! Control that dog! Duke is pulled aboard Bad Ditch’s raft, but shortly thereafter jumped on top of LNDT when someone throws the beach ball in her direction (who was it? LNDT is gonna get you!). The day is not shaping up well: a hangover, nearly losing her shorts, getting rammed up the ass and attacked by a dog within a span of a couple of hours is not fun! (Actually, the dog is sweet – LNDT can be such a drama queen!) Turtle Dick and Bend Over Rover also bring their well-behaved dog, Pubes, and place him in a beer cooler tube (now he’s adorable! – and LNDT doesn’t usually like small dogs).
Now the flotilla LNDT jumped onto (abandoning her buddies – sorry guys!) has 3 kegs of beer vs. the 2 kegs on the other flotilla. LNDT wants to make sure that her beer doesn’t run out, so she sticks with this group. At some point, the beer servers learn that the other flotilla kicked both their kegs and sent AF to retrieve an extra keg. The beer servers don’t want to give them any of the remaining kegs (1 has been kicked already), so they gave AF the empty keg (without his knowledge that it was empty, of course!). Imagine his chagrin when the other flotilla tapped into it and discovered it was empty! He probably went to a lot of effort to get that keg downriver (sorry, dude – wasn’t my idea, but I didn’t want to give you wankers any beer anyway!).
There were quite a few topless kegstands (as promised!) on the flotilla. BD, Are You In?, and Thong But Not Forgotten are some of the participants. BD and RUN?, once topless, stay topless for the remainder of the trip downriver. In fact, both are warned upon passing the lecherous voyeurs on the shore to put their tops back on (dudes were videotaping them, man!). They both shrug it off – let them watch and save it for their personal collection! At some point Indy comes upriver to get some beer and the co-GMs have a tit-off. BD wins hands down! How can Indy compete? She only removes her top for 30 seconds – BD never has hers on!
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