Florida Trip: Day 5

L & W go to Stan’s, a redneck outdoor festival held every Sunday

Stan tells the audience off-color jokes and catches W shaking her head when she doesn’t get one of his jokes

Stan picks on W and asks “Why are you shaking your head? Didn’t you understand my joke?”

W just smiles back

L & W watch the local ladies perform the buzzard dance; a local legend, Queen Mary, is outfitted in a blue fringe top with a white skirt and boots

While dancing the buzzard dance, Queen Mary displays her red underskirt and her confederate flag underwear; Queen Mary is NO spring chicken – even Stan made some jokes about Queen Mary’s broad rear view

W drives back to hotel alone while Ray & L drive around on bike

W hangs out by pool for several hours and comes back to hotel room at 7pm with “Privacy Please” sign in door; W (not thinking too swiftly) believes she forgot to remove the “Privacy Please” before heading to Stan’s; when W tries to open door, realizes door is latched shut; Ray & L up to tomfoolery in hotel room

L insists they’ve only been there 15 min, but curtains have been closed (1^st time the entire vacation!)

Ray, L & W head to Crazy Flamingo’s for dinner

Ray breaks the news that Captain Ron expressed interest in W

W jokingly asks if the interest was before Captain Ron saw W in bikini or after

Ray replies “Before” – L & W laugh

Old man walks into Crazy Flamingo’s while Ray’s ordering food and wants to take Ray’s seat

Old man walks out when he finds out that Ray is with L & W

L & W walk (using sidewalks!) to ice cream parlor; discover ice cream parlor really is busiest place in town

L & W decide to play pool; L & W have absolutely no skills playing at all

Old man returns and teaches L to sink 8 ball before others

Old man asks W if married, when W replies “No”, Old man asked if W is attached, when W lies and says “Yes”, Old Man walks out of the bar

L & W decide to head back to hotel early for rest before morning massage at spa

L & W walk down the hall toward room (Rm. 518) and hear screaming

As L & W pass Rm. 512 it’s obvious the screaming is coming from a woman having an orgasm

½ hour later, W suggests that L & W should have called Rm. 512 during her orgasm!

Lesson #2: The Marriott is NOT a family establishment –

Strippers in thongs and Italian Entrepreneurs poolside

Vocal sex acts performed for the benefit of all hotel guests