Stinko de Mayo – 15 Lessons Learned

1. Buy a tent without plastic windows so that hashers can not peer through them at any time. Can’t a hasher ever get it on without voyeurs?
2. Stay up late no matter how cold it is. You’re not gonna sleep anyways with drums pounding through the night.
3. Massive quantities of yucca will cause your bladder to send you out in the frigid night at least 5 times (or give you whisky d*ck – see lesson #11 below).
4. Wear socks to bed when camping. You may stay warmer that way. In fact, just wear clothes to bed unless its 80F.
5. Don’t try to sleep in the middle of the day. You’ll only sweat.
6. Hashers are a nosy bunch. They will interrupt you at inopportune times – and enjoy doing it!
7. When road-tripping, the first rule of hashing is: “Don’t hook up with hashers from your own hash.” “Strange” is the operative word.
8. Stake down your tent. Cause even if you are only using it as a changing room, it would be nice to pack it away for the next camping trip.
9. Steep hills and total drunkenness do not mix. The number of sprained ankles and softball-size bruises were innumerable on Sunday.
10. You can still earn a hash sh*t even if you do not attend a hash with a hash sh*t. A new H3 can always be founded to ensure you’re Sh*t-worthy.
11. Whisky d*ck is not a pleasant phenomenon for either party. Hours upon hours of getting it on is tiresome. Where are the s*x potions when you need them?
12. The best entertainment of the weekend occurs after most have left the campsite. The “Legion of Dumb” might hurdle beer kegs using a slip-n-slide or blow up stuffed animals with dynamite.
13. Don’t attempt to play bocci ball uphill. Your balls will never land where you expect them to.
14. Don’t assume that if your tent flap is closed, it will stay that way. Especially if you WANT privacy.
15. Put the drunken hashers to bed. Even falling out of a chair can be dangerous. And who knows what could be duct taped if they’re left exposed.