TRASH Cheap Mexican Campout – 20 Lessons Learned

1. Make sure condoms are included in the essential camping equipment checklist.
2. Don’t bother putting a swimsuit on around Chlorine. She’ll only forcibly remove it from you. And your clothing will NOT survive the removal.
3. Set up the bed to face the fire and tippy cup table. Relaxed observation of campsite activities is possible from the comfort of your own tent.
4. Don’t give Chlorine tequila. She’ll never find her way out of her tent. Wait up!! Maybe that’s a good thing?
5. Don’t set up your tent on the campsite periphery. Hashers may view the area behind it as pee zone and in their drunken state may accidentally pee on the tent.
6. If you’re interrupted while having sex, don’t stop what you’re doing. Otherwise, you’ll give up and be horny all day.
7. Eating Mexican food all weekend is effective in creating immunity to Fourth Meal at Taco Bell.
8. Just because a hasher has s*x with you, does not mean that the hasher will sleep in your tent that night.
9. Don’t assume that cops will put an end to a party. In some cases, they’ll provide photo ops with their authentic handcuffs - as long as the harriettes are willing to flash some titties.
10. Don’t try to give a BJ at the main campfire. You’ll only get heckled for your attempt.
11. A harriette can become a TRASHer by injection (without going through that nasty bibbing ritual – and instead get a pretty dog tag).
12. Don’t assume that amenities such as port-a-potties and showers will be easily accessible. You may need to traverse through 600 feet of swamp to get to them. However, a dip in a pool may be a short uphill walk away and a good alternative for a shower (figure out your own solution for getting rid of bodily waste).
13. Don’t pass out in the public campground area. You may wake up with a c*ck in your face.
14. Swim naked at your own peril. Your v*gina may go on display for the hashing public.
15. Always bring sharpies to a hashing event. It’s good to be prepared for any eventuality.
16. The purpose of challenging the wearer of the Tour de Jugs jersey is NOT to win the Tour de Jugs, but instead to get the wearer drunk. Also, the Tour de Jugs is a FEMALE competition.
17. Your tolerance for voyeurism increases when hashers play 3-man and throw beer cans against your tent.
18. Don’t walk around with your @ss exposed. You may end up with a handprint so large that Confused Follies will photograph it for future blackmail purposes.
19. If you date someone with a slight stutter, you may pick up their habit.
20. Don’t use MapQuest for directions. It may send you 20 miles out of your way and through the heart of the Fayette-Nam rush hour.