Week 3: Speed Session

Despite not feeling well 2 days ago, I performed much better today than my speed session last week.

Lap #1: 2:04
Lap #2: 2:08
Lap #3: 2:10
Lap #4: 2:19

....well, except for the last lap. That one is disappointing.

Not Feeling Well

I haven't run since Saturday because I came down with something flu-like on Sunday. Even though I went to work both yesterday and today, I haven't eaten anything substantial in the past 3 days. Yesterday I was so weak that my entire body had uncontrollable shivers until I took 600mg of ibuprofen.

I feel better today, but my appetite has not yet returned full strength. As a result, I'm taking today as one last day of recovery just to ensure that I don't have a relapse. Besides, tomorrow is my speed session. Hopefully, I've improved from last week, although I don't know how I could've managed it.

Week 2: Speed Session

I did an excellent job on my speed workout last night. First, I warmed up with a 10-minute jog (approx. .85 miles), then I ran each of my 1/4 mile laps.

Lap #1: 2:11
Lap #2: 2:11
Lap #3: 2:14
Lap #4: 2:20

I didn't quite make my goal of under 2:10 per lap, but at least I'm working towards that goal. In the meantime, Spelunker is also doing his speed workout, which is much more extensive than mine. He is running 8 3/4-mile repeats with a 1-mile warm-up and cool-down.

By the time I finish my 1-mile total speed workout, he has only completed 3 of his repeats. 5 more to go? I'm going to have a loooooong cool-down then. And that's what I do. I run for an additional 2.25 miles (after walking a catch-my-breath lap).

I'm actually quite proud of myself because while we are doing our workout, a group of about 6 12-year olds come onto the track with their coach to run laps. While I'm slower than they were - I never once stopped running, while those whippersnappers had to walk a bit after every couple of laps.

All in all, though, I ran a total of 4 miles during this workout and just felt great for the remainder of the day. Add on my wonderful meal of mushroom tilapia, and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect evening.

Under 200!

I weighed in last night between leaving work and going to the hash and weighed in at 199 lbs! I lost 4.2 lbs last week!

I don't know what caused this phenomenal turn-around, but I'm happy nonetheless!

4th Leg of Tour duh Hash

Spelunker was late for the 2nd day in a row. Since I promised to pick him up at the metro, this resulted in us both arriving after the pack had taken off. I was assured that the pack was only 3 minutes in front of us, and with Dildo Shaggins to accompany me, I took off after the runners. Spelunker, on the other hand, stayed behind presumably to catch up with the walkers.

It didn't take long for Shaggins and I to catch up with the DFLs as they were traversing the shiggy. Sh*t! I forgot to apply Ivy Block. I guess a week from now, I will be kevetching over my ugly legs covered in PI. However, since most of the trail entails wading through a creek, maybe I washed most of it off. Once we get out of the infernal creek, we spy the walkers leaving the beer check. I guess that means there are no beverages left to consume. Oh well.

On out from the beer check, the trail again went back into the creek after crossing Rt. 50. This time, however, the creek wading is hip-high and in one spot is even waist-high. For you sub 5-footers out there (aka Duals), that would be chest-high and maybe a spot of swimming. At this point, my kevetching turns into outright b*tching. Do you know what running in wet shorts does to your inner thighs? It causes runners rash. Yep. Yours truly now has lovely 2-inch square patches of red bumps on my inner thighs.

But is the trail fun? You betcha. And I ran most of the parts I wasn't wading too. For a total of 4.5 miles. Not too shabby. But I never did catch up to the main body of the pack. Figures.

However, at the end, I discover Spelunker never even left the start. Jeez! He starts marathon training and stops hashing. I've picked a real winner, folks. Then I notice 2 scabs on his lower lips and ask him about them. Apparently he showered AND shaved before coming to the hash, which is why he was late.

I exclaim, "You're not supposed to shave your lips!"

Of course, Ogre overhears me and turns my statement over to And How's Her Bush for violations. Tattle-tale! It wasn't even that funny. Of course, before my violation in circle, AHHB has to violate everyone in attendance at least once, which with a 150-person hash means that violations go on and on for 45 minutes. Jeez, AHHB! I know you take your duties seriously, but you don't need to report everything!

And as announced at WH4 last night, Mr. Magoo announces the upcoming fundraising for the Hash museum in Kuala Lumpur. If you haven't heard about it yet, you can read all about it here. I'm sure if your hash hasn't yet signed up for fundraising activities that the Hash House would appreciate the assistance. I'm not sure how DC Full Moon is going about performing the fundraising as Mr. Magoo was a little vague on that point, but I'll post more as I learn it.

3rd Leg of Tour duh Hash

I hared for White House for the 2nd time this year, coincidentally during the Tour duh Hash. I can't take any of the credit for the trail, so I'll lay all blame at the feet of Toothfairy (it was his b-day, after all).

Observations:

1. Either I (as a DFL) am not a good sweeper, or the pack zenned, or the trail was super-easy to follow. I never once caught up to the pack on trail. I was there if they needed me, though.
2. Advertising the "best beer check EVER!", and then having 1/2 the pack (mostly walkers) shut out of the beer check by security, means the hares made false promises. Oh well - the hares lied. Didn't anyone tell you to never believe anything the hares tell you?
   
3. Initially, the hare count was supposed to be 4 hares (2 laying trail, 1 sweeper, and 1 walker). Again, nothing goes as planned. I became a 2nd sweeper and we designated a new walker's hare, and when Spelunker was late, Bob LoBlaw was brought in at the last minute (of course, Spelunker showed up 45 seconds after the hares took off).
4. The hares were at fault for laying trail through an apartment complex and laying trail over the courtyard wall. However, we did not suspect that one of the apartment residents would chase after the pack to the beer check. Note to all: The apartment complex at O St SW is private property and we are NOT to destroy their landscaping.
   
5. There is only one place to end near Eastern Market, and anyone that has been hashing for longer than a year knows where it is. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that very few people followed the zig-zaggy trail through the rowhome alleyways on the 2nd half.

Diet Progress

Although my running has improved slightly - I have moved up to running the hilly 3.6 mile loop around my neighborhood, I haven't increased mileage dramatically. However, on the diet front, I am moving along quite nicely, except for the .4 lb blip on my chart this week. I will place the blame squarely on Revolution.

Damn you, Piggy, for feeding us so well!

Week 1: Speed Session

Start time: 5pm
Mileage: 2 miles
Lap #1: 2:12
Lap #2: 2:14
Lap #3: 2:18
Lap #4: N/A
Temperature: 96 F
Terrain: High school track

Yep, it's countdown time again. I have 12 weeks until the Rock n' Roll 1/2 marathon in Virginia Beach over Labor Day weekend (the reason I am not attending Colorado Invihash this year). So, I'm starting this week off with a speed session.

Unfortunately, I can't do anything about the 90+ degree heat, and skip my last lap (excuses, excuses!). I'm walking between speed laps at the moment, but hope to actually slow jog once I improve at this workout again.

Lessons Learned from Revolution X

1. What other camping event has appetizer servers walk through the campsite distributing taquitos, spinach balls, and tuna salad-stuffed jalapeños while you set up your tent?
2. A campground is just not a campground without a fire blazing 24x7. What does it matter if it’s 95+ degrees outside?
3. Apparently, when your nose gets operated on, you have to wear a tampon around your nose. Talk about a fashion statement.
4. No one will suspect that you are not drinking beer if you keep your wooden vessel charged with water.
5. Male Sembach hashers greet each other by shaking each other’s c*cks. I wonder how the females greet each other?
6. If you wear see-through boxer briefs around the campsite, don’t be surprised when an elephant is drawn on your package.
7. I can stay up later than Spelunker! However, “I’m not tired” does not prevent the eventual tackling and dragging back to the tent, if running away is the chosen option.
8. Bloody Mary mix, no matter how tasty and delicious it may start out, can be ruined by an overzealous vodka pour.
9. The secret to the breakfast line is to get Long n’ Hard’s made-to-order omelets first, then cut into the regular line for “just” bacon and potatoes.
10. Nasty, skanky-@ss swamp water will invade every crevice and orifice of your body. The only option is to strip naked and find a slightly clean(er) body of water to wash up in.
11. Want to know how Camel Spit got her name? Ask her.
12. No one can say no to servitude in Piggy’s improvised kitchen. Even vegetarians assigned to frying beef for tacos.
13. Hedgehog can provide advice on Spelunker’s spooning preferences. Wow! Who knows how deep that friendship goes?
14. Wait until you see the d*ck trick called the curtain call! Who knew that men had the power to make their balls rise and lower within their ball sack? Simply amazing!
15. Tour de Chug jersey + 2 bottles sangria = Passed-out Spelunker by 8pm

How far have I fallen?

So this is me at Tidewater Green Dress on 3/16/07 at 172 lbs (I know this because my driver's license picture was taken 4 days later and I don't fib about my weight).


And this is me on 3/21/08 at 220 lbs in Las Vegas for Hermie and TOM's Elvis wedding.


Ugghhh! Now you see why I had to join WW! I gained a solid 50 lbs in 1 year!

I'm on a diet

I wrote this post back on April 13th, but am just now posting it...

I guess I’m overdue on a progress report. I’m still running daily; trying to get in shape for the fall running season. And I’m still struggling to run 3 miles. I can run 2 miles consistently, but my mileage can’t seem to creep beyond that before my shins and knees start hurting.

Slurpee has been running with me at most EWH3 hashes and suggested I diet while I train. She started her diet a couple of weeks ago, and to date, both she and Toothfairy have lost approximately 3-5 pounds each. Now don’t think that I gorge on tubs and tubs of Ben & Jerry interspersed with Butterfingers. I don’t. Although I like sweet food, I’m more tempted by salty pleasures. In all seriousness, though, I generally eat healthy. I overindulge by cooking comfort foods: pot roast, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, pasta with meatballs….you get the picture.

So, I asked around – who’s currently dieting and how are they doing it? Tuppy, Hand 2 Hand, and Earshot all lost weight on Weight Watchers. Slurpee and Toothfairy are counting calories and depending on each other to keep it going. Well, I’m not likely to be consistent counting calories online in a food journal, but attending motivational meetings sounds good. I’ll do anything that has a social aspect to it. Hand 2 Hand gave me a basic primer on the works and at $40 a month, it didn’t sound like a bad idea. I have to be able to run 10 miles by mid-July!

So, I get up early on Sunday, make breakfast for myself and @ss Spelunker and head off to my first Weight Watchers meeting.

Week 1 - Day 1: Meeting

Weight: 220.2

10% Goal: 198

Ultimate Goal: 160

Yipers! 220! Where do I hide it? This 10% goal thing, apparently, is a Weight Watchers (WW from here on out) motivational approach to make it sound like losing 60 pounds isn’t that far away. I prefer just to be honest about the fact that I’m fat now. Another curious item: WW measures weight in 1/10 of a pound. Is that really necessary? What’s the big deal if you lose 3/10ths of a pound in one week? Again that motivational approach of theirs. Hmmmm.

Just as I figured, the room is mostly filled with 45 – 60 year women (and a couple of men) who are in serious need of weight loss (probably on doctors’ orders). There are actually a few people under 45, and those that are, are in generally the same shape as me – tipping the overweight scale, in need of weight loss, but lacking the boob-to-belly rolls of fat that seem to be prevalent in this room.

The topic of today’s discussion? Exercise. Funny. The reason I’m here is because I want to be able to exercise more – 24.2 miles more to be exact. WW encourages walking – heavily. And that is no ding on walking. Walking is extremely healthy exercises and is an exercise that anyone of any capability is typically capable of performing. However, burning calories/fat/pounds/what have you while walking is difficult unless you power-walk or briskly walk for over an hour. Round-robin of the room shows that is the favored exercise of choice, followed closely by swimming. Hmmmm.

Following the meeting, there is a first-timer introduction to the meal plans – flex and core. Core allows you to as much as you want as long as it is on WW’s healthy food list. These foods typically consist of non-processed, whole foods, which require cooking to make them appetizing for the most part. Again, no knock on healthy food – I like fruits and veggies, but how many people want to make marinara sauce from scratch? Besides, beer is NOT on that list. Flex plan it is, then. This is the stereotypical WW plan where you get to count points (not calories!). The different thing about this diet is that you are required to eat your daily points – not save them. There are 35 weekly points that can be budgeted if you need/want them.

My daily allowable points - 28

Weekend at Hermie’s

This weekend there isn’t much going on, so when I get a call informing me that Hermie has invited his friends to drink and sing karaoke at his local VFW, I’m all for it.

Now about 6 months ago, TOM’s homeowner’s association implemented visitor pass regulations and distributed 2 visitor passes to each homeowner. Since Hermie and TOM like to host parties regularly and didn’t agree with this new stipulation, they duplicated the visitor passes (and quite well too – I wouldn’t know the difference if I was asked to compare them). Because how can you have a party with only 2 carfuls of guests??? As an alternative, though, we could always park in the shopping center next door for overflow parking.

So we get drunk from plentiful and cheap booze at the VFW and spend the night. Then in the morning, we play several sessions of “Scene It?” on Hermie’s X-Box. Then we watch Balls of Glory and The Princess Bride and Fight Club and Beerfest. As you can see, this is turning into a marathon weekend of doing absolutely nothing but sitting around and drinking with buddies.

Before you know it, it’s almost midnight on Saturday. Hermie has ordered pizza and we’re in the midst of playing another session of “Scene It?”. Then the doorbell rings. I assume it’s the pizza delivery guy. Turns out, it’s Hermie’s next-door neighbor. She asks if any of us own a Jeep Wrangler because a tow truck just hauled it off. WTF???!! Sh*t!! That was Cheffy’s Jeep. Somebody must have caught on.

@ss Ogre and Rambutt up and leave, Chestnuts calls the number on the tow sign, and I see if I can make it hard for my SUV to be towed by locking the wheels in a turned position.

About 5 minutes later, I’m sitting next to the window and I hear what sounds like a big rig motor outside. Cheffy and I immediately look out the 2^nd floor window. Chlorine’s Grand Prix is missing. Okay, this is serious.

This time, I move my SUV to the shopping center. I’m not taking any chances. Designer and Wh*re Taste follow suit. However, when I pull into the shopping center, I notice the same tow signs that are in TOM’s development. I feel very uneasy about leaving my car there.

In fact, when I return to the Hermie’s house, I inform @ss Spelunker to get his shoes on because we’re leaving. He b*tches and moans about it being unsafe to drive after midnight, but I insist. Besides, I slept on the floor on Friday night and am not looking forward to sleeping on it again. Especially when I haven’t been drinking (I stopped around 7pm – I can only take so much). No one else is inclined to leave (or not sober), so we say our goodbyes and head out.

The next morning, we get a phone call around 9:30am. Designer is calling and informs us that Wh*re Taste’s car was towed out of the shopping center. The only people that did not have their cars towed were Chestnuts (who had a real permit – not a fake one) and Designer (who knows why? – she thinks it’s her AWD Subaru). So, I made the right choice by leaving when I did. However, the rest of my buddies are out $125 a piece. Extortion!!

TOM and Hermie plan on bringing this issue up with their homeowner’s association. I think Chestnuts plans to threaten to sue (on behalf of her friends). I really don’t think there is anything that can be done, but we’ll see. But is this the end of parties at Hermie’s and TOM’s???

No More Goofing Off

…as I have been for the last year. I haven’t run a decent training program ever since I jumped on the love train. And neither has @ss Spelunker. Since our lives have reverted to the old ball-and-chain routine and since Hoover has been hounding me for the last month to sign up for the Marine Corps Marathon, I resumed a regular running routine on Saturday. Nothing much to be proud of – a simple 2 mile jog. I didn’t even have a proper stop-watch to tell you how long it took me, although I wouldn’t tell y’all even if I knew. Spelunker didn’t fare much better, since he only ran 2 of his planned 5 miles. D*mn! Of course, that had more to do with his hangover than his running ability. Regardless, I have 9 months to train with Hoover as my virtual partner.

2008 is not a Traveling Year

I know this will come as a great disappointment, but I simply do not have the budget to travel this year (at least flight-wise). Missing from my annual jaunts in 2008 are TexMex, Texas Interhash, Colorado Invihash, CoTex, and a weekly sojourn in Tampa, FL. I was even considering USA Nash Hash, but I can’t even stomach the $300 round-trip airfare and required rental car cost. I guess the cost of crude oil has made air fares ridiculously expensive compared to what I paid for flights last year. As a result, the only hash event that I plan on flying to is Babe’s Hash Cruise in November. I hope to return to my traveling habits in 2009, or at least whenever flight prices go back down to the sub-$300 level for a weekend romp with hashers.

However, I am driving to a good portion of East Coast hash events: Stinko de Mayo, NC/SC, Revolution, T.I.T.S., Commotion by the Ocean, Nittany Valley, PA Interhash, and VA Interhash are events that I have earmarked to attend during the summer camping season.

Clutch is Fixed

Well, $1250 later and my clutch is fixed. It seems a bit outrageous of a price, but the mechanic claims that replacing a clutch on a 4-wheel drive vehicle is more complicated. Whatever! I don't think I believe him, so I doubt I will return there again.

Car Problems

So when I bought my Mini Cooper (which I have yet to take a picture of), I decided to keep my Montero Sport around for road trips. Well, in November, I took my car in to get the shifter and brakes replaced. Then in December, my battery died and I replaced that. And then in early January, I somehow got a nail in my tire, and I replaced all 4 tires since they were due in 6 months anyway. So, in the last 3 months, I've laid out $1700 on a car I drive only on weekends.

After dinner on Wednesday, we returned to the car and were unable to shift into any gears. Uh oh! I believe my clutch is out. I do have 133K miles on my SUV. However, I conveniently blame @ss for my clutch problems. He isn't that great of a stick driver (no pun intended) and drove it on Monday and Tuesday while his Kia was being worked on. Am I glad that this happened 1 mile from home! This past weekend, we used my SUV to drive to Lynchburg. It would have sucked @ss if I had to drive 200 miles home with a top speed of 35 mph (cause I can get my car going in 3rd gear, but can't shift once the engine starts).

Anyway, I called my mechanic and he'll be inspecting my car today. I wonder what the damage will be?

Steak and BJ Day - 1 Month Early

Well, @ss took me out for dinner the day before Valentine's day (I hash on Thursdays).

He is currently undergoing an ordeal in getting his Kia to pass MD state inspection, so we stopped at Advance Auto parts before dinner. He b*tched when he had trouble finding matching brands of wiper blades (does this really matter??), and then complained after I requested that he buy me a $3 LED flashlight for hashing (in his defense, he didn't know how much it cost).

Afterwards, we decided to go to Outback since it is right next to Advance Auto Parts (I originally wanted to go to a local Italian place). Since they were going to make us wait the typical 20-30 minutes, we decided to sit in the bar area to have dinner. So during our dinner conversation, I promised to give him a BJ afterwards for his Valentine's Day present, since he bought me a flashlight AND dinner (a worthy exchange, right?).

It was then pointed out that we were actually celebrating Steak and BJ day, not Valentine's day. Ahh, well, who cares? We'll probably celebrate Steak and BJ day next month, too!

Lessons Learned: Ft. Eustis AGM

1. When offered road-head by your significant other, don’t respond with, “I can’t, I’m driving” even if you can’t trust your own driving to keep you on the road.
2. Leaving the shower curtain open to make sure that someone can’t sneak up on you to pour cold water on you doesn’t work when the person can easily throw cold water on you from another room. Lock the door instead.
3. John Taylor’s window for performing sock-dressed d*ck tricks is getting shorter since Barcode’s grandbaby is growing. In the future, the socks may be too large for his d*ck.
4. Even Cheffy does not have plausible cause to reserve a king waterbed room with his male virgin.
5. If the Moose lodge waitress is only allowed to pour one shot at a time into your wooden mug, provide her with multiple vessels to pour shots into, as a single shot will not make an adequate mixed drink in a 32 oz vessel.
6. Tippy cup is a game that requires easy access to a puke repository. If the restrooms are not easily accessible or if your significant other refuses to go outside while it is snowing to hold your hair, do not play.
7. Don’t be surprised that your room gets invaded when you reserve one of the 3 hotel rooms available with a hot tub.
8. Two naked hot chicks in a tub are appealing until someone mentions that they are related.
9. Young men (anyone under 40) need to watch out for cougars lounging naked in hot tubs and random beds.
10. If items disappear out of your room, always blame the Trash. Especially when some room keys are skeleton keys for other rooms.

3rd Time’s a Charm

So, I’m doing it again – I will continue playing a role on Everyday is Wednesday’s mis-management. This time, though, I will no longer be taking attendance as hash cash; instead, I will be the hash bookkeeper (aka OnSec). It won’t be a far departure from what I have done over the last 2 years as I will continue to be a familiar face at beginning sign-in and busting the late-cummers at the end circle. However, I will have a greater planning role in coordinating events and such since I will have to determine the budget and pay the bills. I’m sure it will suit me immensely since planning is what pays my bills every month.

Herndon Commute

So I have learned that the commute isn’t too bad (in the morning), but can be horrendous in the afternoon. As long as I avoid the Connecticut Ave exit in the morning and avoid I-270 at all times during rush hour, the commute in the morning can be a bearable 45-50 minutes long. My odds improve when I minimize my time traveling on the Beltway, though.

I have discovered the alternative pathways of Seven Locks Rd, Old Georgetown Pike, and Beach Drive. I have also learned to avoid Norbeck Road and Randolph Road at all times of the day since they are primary east-west corridors. As long as the road goes north-south, the traffic flow is much faster.

I am definitely that kind of driver that will jump off the Interstate looking for an alternative route rather than sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic (which is how I discovered Seven Locks Road).

Of course, finding a way not to return home during rush hour is also a good plan, which is why I will probably be hashing more with SH*T in the upcoming months, as their territory coincides with my new project location.