408th EWH3 Hash

This has been a stellar hash for me this evening. The weather is cold, but not unbearable, and there is no wind to speak of.

There are some scary sections in the beginning while going through the industrial park, which actually makes me wonder how 4 chicks fared while laying this trail. I def am pushing myself to keep up with the other members of the pack – that’s how scary this neighborhood is.

We encounter at least 3 police incidents on trail. Cops stop a kid on a bike, which doesn’t really hamper our running. But when approaching the beer check, we have a slight detour as there are 5 cops responding to a car-jacking incident outside the alley we are supposed to enter. Finally, during the last leg of trail, we encounter cops pulling a driver over. In addition to these incidents, WOWO informs us that he prevented a girl from getting raped in one of the parks we traversed. I’m not really sure what the details are, but I’m not surprised.

Trail Review:

I like the scenery and the length of the trail. What I don’t like is the flour visibility. I can’t tell you how many times we get lost on trail. Fortunately, the sweepers are out en force today.

Cum Dumpling usually overhears the most inappropriate parts of my conversations. He performs his weekly smack of my @ss just as I’m leaving the beer check and saying to Delivery Boy:

“I was all lubed up……before the beer check.”

I’m referring to how my muscles were just warming up during the last part of the 2.5 mile first half and after standing around at the beer check for 20 minutes, they’re cold again.

Kudos:

Love the Fruit & Nuts trail mix. Red River, keep buying that stuff! That’s the best food introduction that we’ve had in a while!

Big word of the day:

Paltry – I offer WOWO the few raisins left in the bottom of my cup. Upon his refusal, I admit that it’s a paltry offer. Apparently, it’s not a common word to be throwing around at the hash.

The naming:

I must say we haven’t had a naming go so well in a VERY long time. All the names thrown out are excellent and the name Bloody @sshole chooses is extremely clever on multiple levels. I have to admit I’m impressed that he didn’t go for the name that references anal (cause we are soooo obsessed with dirty names at EWH3).

Bars:

We head to the on-after, which is Phase 1, the oldest lesbian bar in America. Does this mean DC spawned lesbianism in the U.S.? When we first arrive, there’s a bluegrass band, which is okay, I guess.

Now while I’m circulating the crowd, Monday Sticky Monday asks me why I appear uncomfortable. Really? Do I look uncomfortable? I’ not aware of that, but I will admit that this is my first foray into a lesbian bar. I guess it is a bit troubling that I can’t identify if some of the chicks in here are really chicks…

Then open mic night begins, and that’s when people start leaving in droves. Some black chick goes up to the mic and starts reading poetry. I don’t have any issue with poetry readings, but when she starts b*tching about the world and racism, I’m ready to leave. I go to bars to FORGET about real life, not to have it thrown back in my face. Of course, it doesn’t help that the members of the band keep approaching hashers and telling us to keep quiet for the presenter.

“She needs a safe space”

I wasn’t aware that I was threatening her space to begin with.

So what’s a hasher to do when the on-after is hostile to hasher fun? Go to another bar! I proceed to the Ugly Mug, which is an established hasher hang-out. Interestingly enough, tonight we are hob-knobbing with Capitol Hill staffers. We get a few interested glances towards our running attire when they’re all wearing suits, but they’re cool.

The one exception is I’d Do ‘Er – she comes prancing in wearing a gold evening gown. Where have you been, darlin’? You’re looking awful fancy for the hash. She had a work event, but just had to stop by since hashers are in her ‘hood tonight. Great to see you! She cut her hair too – she looks fabulous!

Oh, and do any of y’all recall the “manly” tequila shot? I haven’t seen that performed in over a year! You dudes are crazy mo-fo’s! Eat Street Meat, I know you’re responsible! Stop perpetuating that sadistic ritual!

As usual, when good music is playing, I’m grooving. Since I’m working up a sweat, I take my pants off – you should have seen the shocked expression on people’s faces before they realize I have another layer on underneath! Yep, I’m a tease! And as usual, I earn a dollar for my dancing. You know, it’s almost becoming a regular occurrence that I earn money dancing while hashing. I should def investigate a career change….

just kidding!

Bars: Phase 1 and The Ugly Mug

Total Bar Count: 38

Total DC Bars: 19