“He broke his peter! You’d think he’d adjust his junk before running 26 miles so he wouldn’t get rug burn.”
“You were so angry last night that I locked my door. I thought you would come and rape me.”
“I don’t f*ck losers.”
“Then you should have locked your cooter and thrown away the key.”
“I was led around by my c*ck all evening.”
“It’s called man-scaping.”
“You’ve lost all v*gina rights. You’re now a man to me.”
“He stole all my underwear, so I either have to go commando or wear shorts.”
“I told you that he would steal your clothing.”
“You missed it! I saw the largest c*ck EVER last night! He was only 21years old. We took pics too.”
“I scored too. I found a non-hasher to hook up with.”
“What has he been eating that he’s farting so bad?”
“P*ssy.”
“If I’m not asleep in 10 minutes, I’m going to sleep in Laa Laa’s bed.”
“I swear he’s paid for me the entire weekend. He even made me breakfast.”
“Really? What have you been eating?”
“If she had told me before that if I didn’t qualify I wouldn’t get laid, I would have made it in on time. As it was, I conserved my energy so I could get laid.”
Bars: Big Sam’s & Knucklehead Roadhouse
Total Bar Count: 44
Total DC Bars: 21
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